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Family Traditions

Most families develop some traditions over the years. Often children's fondest memories are of the rituals observed in their families, whether grand ones at holiday time or little variations for carrying out everyday activities. Most of the parents and grandparents we surveyed urged families with very young children to carry on some traditions from their original families, but also to develop some of their very own. Here are a patchwork of ideas. Perhaps you can adapt some to become your own family tradition.

• "Our children were given silver candle holders (from Reed and Barton) as baby gifts. Now, no birthday would be complete without those candle holders on the birthday cake."

• "Once a week or so, we have 'Library Night'. The whole family goes to the library and everyone has a chance to pick out some books for the week. Once in a while, we'll choose a theme, such as knights or dinosaurs. Then everyone in the family looks for books about that theme (from picture books for our 5-year-old to adult books for Mom and Dad)."

• "When something special happens to a member of our family (everything from graduating to getting a good grade), they get to eat dinner on a special plate called 'the red plate.'

• "Each year at holiday time, we take the train downtown and have breakfast in the Walnut Room at Marshall Field's. Then we walk along State Street and look at the holiday windows."

• "Our family has silly little games that we always play when we're together, including "Pig" (at the table, the last one to put their finger on the side of their nose is the 'pig' and has to say 'oink, oink') and 'Piggyback' (when driving, we all look for car carriers. The first to see one yells 'Piggyback' and the one with the most at the end of the trip wins. If you miscall one, you have to subtract one from your score). The kids have taught all their friends these games and they play along when they're with our family."

• "Once a year, usually near (but not on) each child's birthday, he or she gets to go out to dinner with Mom and Dad alone, picking the restaurant and choosing the topics of conversation all evening."

• "When we take family vacations, we allow each child to choose one (and only one) souvenir. They spend much time and thought deciding on the perfect choice to remember the trip."

• "We always take photos of each child on the first day of school. We put them in a frame, showing how the child has grown each year."

• "Each Sunday night, we have 'Pig-out Dinner.' Each family member decides what to eat, fixes it for himself and then cleans up afterward."

• "Our family has its own 'signal.' When we arrive home, we always beep the car horn three times. Likewise, we always ring the doorbell three times, whistle three times, etc. This has been helpful numerous times in attracting the attention of a family member in a crowd or across a playing field."

• "We schedule family meetings every week-end. Everyone contributes to the agenda. Mom takes the minutes and we review them to see if we've carried out our plans."

• "On birthdays, everyone gets a one-pound bag of M & M's."

• "We have a separate videotape of each child, which includes birthdays, plays, sports events, etc."

• "We save every note or letter any child has every written. It's like a diary, over the years."

• "As our family grew, with marriages and grandchildren, holiday gift-giving got overwhelming. Now each person draws the name of three family members to give a gift that year. A family friend oversees the drawing and makes sure that no one gets themselves or someone they had last year."

• "Each year on their birthday, each child fills out a list of her 'favorite things,' including her favorite food, song, book, friend, school activity, etc. The kids love to look at what they liked when they were younger."

• "On each child's 17th birthday, I have presented them with a book of their childhood that includes photographs, newspaper clips, programs from plays and graduations, school and sports awards, and so on."