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WHEN PARENTS MUST TRAVEL FOR BUSINESS

It is a fact of life in today's world that parents must travel for their jobs, some more frequently than others. While having Mom or Dad on the road can become almost "normal," there are things that families can do to ease the strain for both parents and kids.  Here are some ideas:

·          If you travel frequently, create a master list of household instructions, kids' routines, emergency  info, and so on.  Then add appropriate info for the current trip.  That saves having to re-create those instructions every time you plan a trip.

·          Put stickers on a map or globe to show the kids where the parent is. And put one where you live, too.

·          Young kids don't have a great sense of time.  To help them understand how long you'll be gone,  make a calendar, showing the days the parent will be traveling. Note events that will be happening on those days. (These can be routine, such as school or a playdate.)  For pre-readers, attach pictures to represent events. Paste a photo of the parent on the day he/she returns.  Let the child mark off the days.

·          Leave a grab bag of small gifts (stickers, a paperback book, bubbles, a new game).  The child can open one each day while the parent is away.  Counting the remaining presents is a concrete way for kids to understand how long before Mom or Dad returns.  Talking about which gift was opened can be a topic of conversation for nightly calls.

·          For young children just learning  how to talk on the phone, try using a speaker phone.  That way several siblings, the parent at home, and perhaps the babysitter can converse at the same time. If a young child wanders away, the conversation can continue with others. 

·          Write a special note for your child to open each day.  Describe what will be happening that day and how many days before you return.

·          Call at the same time each day.  Figure out the best time to call.  Just before bedtime may be more difficult for some children than in the morning or right after school.

·          Take some of your child's favorite books on the road and read aloud over the phone.  The child can follow along on a duplicate copy.

·          Be sure to send postcards. (One father actually sent some postcards from his home town before he left so his daughter would be sure to get them before he returned home).

·          Use technology to keep in touch.  E-mail messages (young kids can  dictate); e-mail photos;  send notes or drawings by fax (One family plays ongoing tic-tac-toe by fax while Dad's on the road.)

·          Bring back a present  (but don't buy extravagant presents every time you travel or the kids will expect it). Try a little gift representing your destination (a toy taxicab from NYC, chopsticks from Japan) or add to a child's collection, such as postcards or matchbox cars. One mother always brings home a book for her son. Some are inexpensive paperbacks picked up at the airport, while others are beautiful hardcovers.  Their ritual is to read the new book together on the first night she returns home.

·          It's common for kids to behave  perfectly while you are gone and to save their reaction to your absence for when you get home.  Don't be surprised by reversals in toilet training, increased tantrums, or out-and-out rejection.  Like other parenting challenges, "this, too, shall pass."