|
      |
How to make bedtimes go smoothly Most parents are ready for their children to go to bed at the end of a long day. Tired moms and dads may dream of tucking in their little ones, once and for all, and then going downstairs for a few hours of adult activity or some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, not all children cooperate with this dream. Parents report endless pleas for "one more glass of water" or "you forgot to kiss me." Soon bedtimes are dreaded as a stressful time when family members are tired and tempers are often short. How can parents make bedtimes go smoothly for all involved? Here are a few tips: Be sure that your child is tired at bedtime. William Sears, M.D., in The Discipline Book (Little, Brown and Company, 1995), says that the first step in getting your child to sleep is to be sure that she is tired at bedtime. Dr. Sears reminds us that "sleep is not a state you can force a child into; it must overtake the child. The parents’ role is to create a sleep-inducing environment." It may be appropriate to give up or shorten an afternoon nap. Also, be certain that the activities before bedtime are not "revving up" your child (for example, watching scary or stimulating TV, wrestling or roughhousing, eating sugary snacks, or discussing difficult issues). Instead, try to fill the hour or two before bedtime with calming activities, such as stories, a bath, or quiet games or talking. Set a regular bedtime and consistently stick with it. Choose a reasonable bedtime for each child in the family. Make clear what the rules are to your children. Then, be consistent in enforcing them. Marc Weissbluth, M.D., writes in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Fawcett Columbine, 1987): "How many times has ‘one more time’ turned into two or three more times? If we don’t fulfill our promises to our children, then the inconsistency in our behavior sparks inconsistency in their behavior." Wondering why it is so often difficult for parents to be consistent, Dr. Weissbluth concludes that "consistency is difficult because we look at it as a punishment rather than as a means to develop positive behavior in our children." Children under five usually can’t understand the concept of time, such as "your bedtime is at 7:30," but they can understand it in the context of events, such as: "after your story" or "after you’ve had your bath and brushed your teeth." Always give a 5 or 10 minute warning before expecting them to stop their activities and get ready for bed. Establish a bedtime routine. Few children respond positively to the command "go to bed." Instead, it’s important to help them with the transition from being awake to falling asleep by establishing a nightly routine that you, more or less, follow every night. Routines often include a bath, a story, a final trip to the bathroom and a kiss goodnight. Some families also include a quiet game, songs, prayers, backrubs, a bedtime snack, or an opportunity to talk over the events of the day. Be sure that you, as a parent, enjoy all parts of the bedtime routine. (If you hate to sing, you should skip the nightly lullaby). One family, who had struggled with their daughter’s bedtime, found the solution was to post a schedule of their bedtime routine on the wall. Their daughter likes to follow it night after night, making sure that nothing is skipped. Bedtime rituals are gentle but important reminders to children that the day is winding down and that sleep will soon follow. |
    |